I joined one of my friends from Morehouse to go to an Anthony Hamilton concert last night. It was ON. It was Chrisette Michelle, Musiq Soulchild and him. They are brought something different to the table, and I could appreciate their unique styles, yet they all are definitely a part of the neo-soul movement. Anthony brought the house down with his energy and sense of movement and vitality, even with a limp leg lol. He took you to the juke joint, a Southern Baptist church, and a family picnic all in the range of one show. I realized then how much I really love music and I truly enjoyed that shared experience of hearing "my" song and singing and jamming with the rest of the crowd. It was a great experience.
Before that, I had a bit of a revealing experience when I told one of my roommates I was gay. He was surprised, but he didn't really seem to care. That to me was cool. I'm thinking I might buy a rainbow wrist thing and just wear that. I mean, because that way, it's saying it without REALLY saying it. I'm tired of people asking me if I have a girlfriend. Like, it's the question of the day. To me, it's shouldn't be any of their business, but of course people are curious. Honestly, at this point, I don't care anymore. I'm ready to be me. It sounds corny as hell, but I always felt that everybody else was stifling me sexually, but it was never about them. It was always about me. Going to the concert, and hearing all those songs about love and affection, made me really long to have somebody there with me, for me. It made we want to feel and express myself physically emotionally, sexually – without a thought to who might care or react. It made me feel slightly more positive about the future and what is to come for me.
This week I am going to focus on being a better intern, and framing the world around me in the way that I want it to be. I don't mean, that I am going to walk around in a delusional fog, but I am going to start to work on creating the person and the life that I want to have. If I'm going to be unhappy, then it won't be by choice. I have to work with myself at those angry, sad, and discouraged points to remain focus and stay positive. I have to be my own best friend.
Listening: "Love Brings Change" by Jamie Foxx
Random Quote: "No, we ain't singing your song tonight. I'm tired of Charlene." – Anthony Hamilton