I was talking to my friend JH on the phone. We were introduced by a mutual friend a while ago. Although I quickly found out (from him) that we are "irreconcilably incompatible," he has being a cool person for me to bounce ideas off of. He is so ready to come out to DC and visit, but I don't know where he would stay. I have three other roommates, and that would be an interesting situation to explain to them, especially since I am not out to them. In fact, the whole "out" status thing has been the subject of most of our conversations as of late. The biggest thing I'm worried about is how I actually do it, and how I navigate my relationships, especially with my roommates if they know this information. Do I have to hear them in hushed conversations talking about "sissies" and whatnot that would (hopefully) abruptly end as I enter the room? I don't know how to deal with all of that.
I don't know how to define myself as a gay men, because I'm still confused on a lot of things. What about being a black man? A man in general? An only child? I have so many different categories for myself, yet none fit me well, nor do I know have to wear any of them adequately. I don't know how to dress, I don't play basketball, I am very soft-spoken, I can be a loner. Does that make me bad or strange or just different, or just lik everybody else. I have spent much time worrying or deliberating on how to stay positive and just be myself. How many times have I written that? lol
Listening: Liar by Madcon