Went out to this place called Busboy's and Poets on U St., but it was so damn crowded we couldn't get in. The more time I spend in D.C., the more I like it here. Not nearly as many black people as in Atlanta, but you get all kinds here. It's not as segregated to be. There were lots of gays, blacks, whites, latinos, you can find a little of everything here. Even during the day walking to work, you see professions in suits and polos of every persuasion, there is an energy in the air that makes you pumped and feel connected. Of course, I have yet to meet anybody that could be a summer buddy for me, but I'm going to try to find somebody out here. Too many dudes out here for me not to at the very least make a friend. But knowing me, that's what would happen.
After walking around trying to find a place (half the group was under 21 grrr …), half of us just went to this Spanish type bar for drinks. I got this thing called a Metropolitan. Wow, could I be any more gay. Whatever it was, it had me pretty loose, like I didn't directly do anything stupid, but were it another group of people it would have been another story lol. Right now, it's like, I don't know if I should or should not tell people about me being gay. Sometimes, women have an expectation that you should be always trying to court them, especially when you go out. I don't know. I was ready to have fun, I know that lol. It didn't really happen last night though.
I'm still thinking about damn JG. I don't know why, but I am. I hate the idea of losing anything, especially a friend, with what few I do have. To be honestly, I never felt totally myself around him, and I think he only tolerated me because I reminded him of his ex boyfriend. It's tiring to be around people that only see you and pigeonhole you into one definition: the nerd. Even my close friends do this. I am immediately a nerd, meaning I can't dance, I have no swag, I'm not that cool. Damn I hate that. People might surprise you if you give them a chance, me included. JG did that shit all the time with his smart ass comments about me. I have sent too many unresponded texts and calls to not know that he basically just told me deuces lol. But damn if that sucks. We talked almost everyday since like October. The fact that he could just as easily cut that off says a lot I guess. Nobody said this was a friendly or happy life, but I don't want it to be a lonely one. So many other things going on, so why can't I get somebody that obvious doesn't give a care about me out of my mind. I guess I had a crush on that yellow mf. K
Listening: "Beggin'" by Madcon
Random Quote: Dude you got a Hangover - roommate
Response: Not from one drink, but I got my lil buzz going