Saturday, October 18, 2008

5k for a Good Day

Either today was just a good day, or something, because the 5k I ran was relatively easy. I mean, I was in 40th place out of problem 70, but I wasn't LAST haha. Ok, so I still suck in terms of running but I enjoyed it. I invited TWISTEDTN to come with me, since he claims to be so interested in the Beltline. And this kid talks a lot of smack, especially about running, and the kid didn't even keep up with me, and I was in 40th place! Of course he writes it off as inexperience and a bunch of bull. I'm like, dude, suck up your pride and take the loss like a man. I admit that I felt a vain pride in racing ahead of him from the first 1\2 mile, but again perhaps I should have ran with him the whole way. Whatever to that, because he would have left me and rubbed that shit in my face anyway were it the other way around. The run was pretty good, I started to get stiff toward the end, and the last straightaway lasted what seemed like forever, but I ended ok. I realized that I am stronger than I thought in terms of my running skill.

Later in the day, I took a shower and hung out in the dorm for a while. I was feeling good that day. I had the chance to speak everybody I needed to at the Beltline ceremony. Of course, BIGGIERICH was there, trying to bag on me for being a Democrat. But I got him back, as I always do. I realize that I am becoming very sardonic and caustic in my joking. Sometimes it's the only way I can relate to people, and although I don't really mean anything personal by it, I know it reflects my own sense of insecurity and isolation. I have to work on that, because what I take as a joke others may see as genuine meanness. haha. I can be mean, real mean, but generally for the people I like I don't aim to be.

I didn't get any real work done again, but I don't care. I'll use Sunday for that. But in terms of my social life, I gets nothing, nada, zip. I consider myself to be moderately attractive, I'm not ugly, but I can hold my own. I don't know what to do, if there's a code or some signal or recognition factor so I can get play. Generally, I'm not that aggressive, but some interest would be nice, you know, something for me to work with. I'm trying but obviously not hard enough.

Something else I realized is that I need to know some white folks. In fact, I can say that at least 90% of the people I converse with these days are black. That's a consequence of being a minority, going to an historically black college, and living in an essentially segregated city, on the black side of town (which is very often the southern part ...) But I want to know some people who will push me outside my boundaries a little and expose me to some different things. Is it possible to be full on black people, because right now I am.

Mood: Restless and Full
Listening: I Want You by Erykah Badu
Random Quote: "Can I get that Jew Bread?" from TWISTEDTN
My Response: You find new lows everyday ...

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