I broke up with DREX. He asked me if I really wanted to be in a relationship with him. Was my uncertainty that obvious! *sigh* he deserves more than i can give at this point. I don't know if I'm capable of connecting with anybody ... So lost in my own head and disconnected from life. I hope soon I will find somebody and feel passion and emotion toward them. But I won't be able to do that until I like myself.
DREX I'm sorry I led you on the way I did, and I wish you well. With your energy and personality I'm sure you will find what you are looking for.
Meanwhile, I learn the hard lesson of not knowing myself or being confident in myself ... I'm scared for the future. I always push people away from me out of fear and misunderstanding. I do need to be in a relationship, but I think DREX was better emotionally equipped and self confidence enough to carry through with it. I am still wading through the same immaturity and fears. This is hard.
I hope, before it's too late. I find somebody whom I can love and feel emotional toward without fear ... Or of it will ever happen
Dour thoughts, but I'm just musing in my head why I keep messing up.
