tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38802588367168212.post6314966142433287754..comments2023-04-03T08:34:26.469-04:00Comments on Smart(er) Growth: Stop Before you Begin back2lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03530896917142687704noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38802588367168212.post-38665937855429960222008-11-30T21:09:00.000-05:002008-11-30T21:09:00.000-05:00Thank you guys for these comments, especially to y...Thank you guys for these comments, especially to you Crazy Diamond.back2lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03530896917142687704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38802588367168212.post-35335268651445756932008-11-25T23:21:00.000-05:002008-11-25T23:21:00.000-05:00Coming Out is a amjor stage of life for a gay man....Coming Out is a amjor stage of life for a gay man. I think one thing that will be helpful would be surrounding yourself with some gay friends, non-romantic, who can assist in the process. I think my friends prevented me from making some major mistakes. Sex will come and go, don't read to more into it then it is. Every person you have sex with won't be in love with you and every person you may have feelings for want be a good sexual match.<BR/><BR/>Good luck contact me anytime if you need to, I love being a big brother.WhozHehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15651969021075559014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38802588367168212.post-49883103994648220032008-11-25T16:17:00.000-05:002008-11-25T16:17:00.000-05:00I really appreciate the self-reflection that you d...I really appreciate the self-reflection that you do, instead of just going through the motions of life and then finding yourself at a place where you ask, "Who am I? What am I doing?" Even though that may be some of what you're feeling right now, it's SO much better to confront those questions when you are in college as opposed to when you are 50.<BR/><BR/>So when you're caught in your confusion, at least take comfort knowing that you are AWARE that certain things aren't working for you and that certain things need to be resolved. I wish I could offer some type of meaningful words in response to the many stimulating questions you asked in your first paragraph, but the answers are so specific to the individual that you will have to find out what makes you happy. Maybe it's hoing, maybe it's a long-term relationship. You may feel the need to wear a rainbow, or affirm your sexual orientation in more subtle ways like responding honestly when someone asks you if you have a girlfriend. Neither of these answers is right or wrong — it's all about what makes you feel happy, healthy and satisfied.<BR/><BR/>You mentioned the gay stereotypes, many of which are true. I think they're true because this concept of "gay" has existed for so long, and once we admit to ourselves that we are gay, we let that concept define us instead of us defining that concept. For thousands of years, gay meant sick, sinful, criminal, mentally ill, perverted, promiscuous, etc. Instead of challenging those norms with the type of self-reflection that you engage in, too many of us just slipped into that "lifestyle" and never felt any obligation to challenge stereotypes, or to try to work with our gay brothers and sisters to create a lifestyle that is not centered on those negative constructs. Too many of us are so scared of the gay parts of ourselves that we will never claim that kind of responsibility — the work is simply too hard and the resistance we encounter is simply too overwhelming to try to change something like that.<BR/><BR/>But you seem to be accepting that challenge, and you seem determined to find peace. Peace is most certainly attainable, and I truly hope that when you say you feel differently than you did a year ago, you mean that you feel infinitely closer to peace. I know a lot of the gay dudes you meet may be uninspiring or disappointing; but gay men are beautiful, and there are some absolutely incredible gay men out there. Based on the self-awareness you are cultivating, I think you will be in good shape when such a guy comes along. Happy Thanksgiving, Family.Crazy Diamondhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11946570866250515570noreply@blogger.com